by
Sara McGinnis
posted in Mom Stories
Accounts of breastfeeding moms being asked to cover up in public spaces aren’t hard to come by these days, but it’s what happened after a recent exchange between a restaurant employee and a patron that has caught my attention.
The backstory on what’s been happening at Noah’s Ark restaurant in Washington state, after customer Sydney Olsen was asked to be more discreet by manager Bianca Garguile:
Although cases like this one are unfortunately far from unusual, this one hits closer to home for me than most. Years ago my family dined at Noah’s Ark, and the restaurant is in an area where a few of my old friends still live. Thanks to the ways of Facebook I saw many discussions over the past few days about what had occurred, including a message from Jennifer Michalcik, organizer of the nurse-in that took place Saturday.
In an email she told BabyCenter she created the event to support all nursing moms, including Sydney, and educate others about nursing mothers’ rights — but she also ended up taking on the role of supporter for Bianca, who had been receiving hateful messages and threatening phone calls ever since word of the incident went viral.
“I was angry for how other mothers were treating this poor girl,” Jennifer told us. She added she attended the nurse-in to try and help ensure it remained a peaceful event, and “to apologize to Bianca and her parents.”
Recalling the emotional moment she reached out to the manager, Jennifer shared:
“I took Bianca aside and talked to her. When I began to apologize for everything she broke down. I took her down the hall so people didn’t see her cry. I explained to her that my intention was not to drag her or her family, or the business through the mud. She told me that people were saying she would be a terrible mother. That she wasn’t really a woman. Threatening to harm her. She is scared. But who wouldn’t be?
They offered free milkshakes to the first 50 moms and Bianca was terrified that someone was going to throw one at her. When I heard that, my heart shattered…”
Jennifer reports the nurse-in ended up being a mellow event, with many supportive mothers and fathers showing up. Still, hearing Bianca’s experience of what happened has been a learning experience for the breastfeeding advocate.
“You can be as brave as you want, behind the computer, or telephone, but what you do and say has a huge effect on people,” she told BabyCenter when asked what her message to others is now that she’s seen the effect those that go overboard in reaction can have. “Hate does not fix or help the situation. It only makes it worse.”
As someone who also supports breastfeeding and the right to nurse in public I have mixed feelings when yet another story hits the web about an exchange. On the one hand I applaud moms out there who are feeling empowered to stand up for their legal rights, but I also always wonder about the other side of the story too, about what happens to the businesses and employees involved.
I do hope those who are nursing continue to do so wherever they need, but I also wish we could take a deep breath before vilifying those who aren’t yet fully on board (or are caught in a tricky situation trying to please customers with opposing viewpoints). Sydney is right in that we need to get the word out so more moms aren’t discriminated against, but for goodness’ sake, threats and personal attacks are over the line.
Are you someone who nurses in public? What kinds of reactions do you get from others?
Photos: Thinkstock, Jennifer Michalcik
